Finding Your Way Through Difficult Times
Sometimes we lead our emotions. Sometimes they lead us. Feelings are natural. Extreme situations may trigger unusual emotions. Your victimization may have been an extreme situation. You may be experiencing some unusual emotions. Grief and fear are two extreme emotions. Following the death of his wife, the writer C. S. Lewis said that he never before had realized that grief was so much like fear (A Grief Observed).
You may not be able to say exactly what you feel. Your feelings may change unexpectedly. Lewis wrote about what he called "a vague sense of wrongness, something amiss." In the middle of his doing some daily routine, familiar surroundings would seem to change, become unfamiliar, and his feelings would overtake him.
You must realize that you are not helpless. We all have resources within us to get through difficult times. But in addition to that, there are many other resources available to crime victims, thanks to the efforts of victim assistants, many of whom were also victims.
The road you are on now is the road to recovery and restoration. Your foot hit that road immediately following your victimization, even though you may have felt that you had been dropped in a foreign land. Each victim’s method of travel is a little different, but the road is well-traveled. There are maps, signs, guides, fellow-travelers, and stops along the way that you will encounter. These are all resources to guide you to your destination. Some resources are people; some are books and tapes; some are activities.
A guide is a welcome friend to a traveler. Your guide is your victim assistant. You’ve already met one, the one who gave you this folder. You may find others along the way.
Every solicitor’s office in South Carolina has a victim assistant. Many police and sheriffs’ departments have victim assistants, also. If you haven’t been in contact with a victim assistant from your local police or sheriff’s department, ask them if they have one. If they don’t, your solicitor’s office will. You may consider these your original guides. These assistants will help you do many of the things you must do as you follow the criminal justice process and travel the road to recovery and restoration. They also can guide you to other resources and other guides.
The other guides may be other victim assistants, or they may be professionals, such as counselors, whose services may be useful to you. Remember that your victim assistant is helping lots of people like you, so use the resources to which they refer you.
In addition to government agencies, there are many private organizations that are set up to help crime victims. These include rape crisis centers, shelters for victims of domestic violence (violence within a home or family), Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD), and centers that help those who have missing children. Centers for religious worship, such as churches or synagogues, may offer help and counseling.
Included in this folder is a list of resources prepared by the South Carolina Victim Assistance Network (SCVAN). Some of the people and agencies listed there may not be near you. However, if you call or write them, they may be able to put you in touch with someone near you. Your victim assistant already may have given you a list of local resources. Use the ones you need.